Should You Let Your Husband Cheat?
Debbie Mandel counters former mistress Holly Hill and gives you 6 ways to revive a sleepy marriage.
BY DEBBIE MANDEL

DepositPhotos There are many reasons why letting your husband cheat is not a good idea. “ Nagging chokes off feelings of love. The other woman or, for that matter, the other man will be complimenting every little thing.”

I am intrigued by former mistress, Holly Hill, author of "Sugarbabe," who lets women know that the best way to keep a man in a relationship is to let him sleep around—with her permission, of course. In her words, "It's better to walk the dog on a leash than let it escape through an unseen hole in the back fence." The gist is that monogamy can’t work in the long run. Her solution: controlled infidelity.

Hill claims that biology is on her side and that men who cheat still love their wives. Besides, many women deny their men sex because of a headache or not being in the mood; what are these deprived men to do? Naturally, let them sleep with other women, but here are her rules: No over-nights, weekend getaways or intimacy allowed!

This is surprising because how does one inhibit intimacy when there is an exchange of bodily fluids? By forbidding intimacy, Hill makes intimacy the forbidden fruit! Men will be itching to get intimate with another woman. And, oh, there is this green-eyed monster known as jealousy. When it rears its ugly head in a relationship, there will be trouble. Keep in mind that as women age, which will happen, jealousy is likely to increase exponentially… yikes! Apparently, Hill isn’t there yet. I would love to read the sequel when she arrives at midlife.

Whether it’s for shock value or a true testament that monogamy does, in fact, mean monotony, I for one believe the opposite. If you feel your marriage has reached a standstill, here are six ways you can revive it:

1. Affirm your spouse. Nagging chokes off feelings of love. The other woman or, for that matter, the other man will be complimenting every little thing. Surely, you can find something your spouse does right!

2. Use your head. Fantasy, costumes, even a cheap wig transform a wife into the other woman. You will both have more fun in bed.

3. Cultivate loyalty. Start using the "we" term more often. Support and defend each another in front of family and friends.

4. Demonstrate your love daily. Your spouse needs to hear an, "I love you," see a wink or get a kiss and a hug. This will encourage your beloved to imitate you. Did you know that a touch promotes well-being? Research conducted with wounds showed how a spouse’s touch speeds up healing.

5. Make a ritual. Create a special, private ritual for the two of you like reading the Sunday morning paper in bed, baking together or going out to your favorite cafe.

6. Become that dream date. Play the role of that confident, smart, sexy person, who is with the love of his or her life.

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of "Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life," "Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout" and "Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul," a stress-reduction specialist, a radio show host and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com.

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