Life energy and sexual energy are intertwined—you could say joined at the hip. Your sexuality is your passion print, which is as unique as a fingerprint. You can't conceal or reveal it with the kind of clothes you wear either, whether it’s revealing blouses or sweats. You express your passion print by the way you move, the scent you emit, how you speak with your eyes, part your lips and breathe. However, constant stress, work, household responsibilities, overzealous parenting, an improper diet, a sedentary lifestyle, poor sleeping habits, cardiovascular disease and diabetes will put an end to feeling sexy everyday and every night, plain and simple.

No one can live a stress-free life. Be aware that stress is a cumulative process—small daily stressors add up and tend to overwhelm. Consequently, when you get out of balance both physically and emotionally, sex falls by the wayside. Are you angry at your spouse? At yourself? Do you feel anxious about having sex? The most efficient way to shed stress hormones and reduce anxiety is by exercising: move it out of the body and the mind.

If you are experiencing low libido, it’s time to stop accepting it. It doesn’t have to be this way. And don’t tell me that you are living with your best friend, please. Sure anthropologist Helen Fisher from Rutgers University claims that the love of our early stage relationship has to break like any fever. Her research demonstrates how difficult it is to sustain over time. Accordingly, companionate bonding becomes the most desirable next phase of a relationship.

I agree with her up to this point of departure, don’t underestimate the supporting role of sex which fuels the companionship. I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of friends. I want a lover. If my husband is my best friend, well that’s a bonus; however, the job description calls for a lover.

Work That Body

Exercise and sex have a lot in common: sweat, good circulation, calorie burn, stress release and feel-good chemistry. Exercise will help you learn the anatomical language of love and habituate you to continuous physical expression; in other words, there will be less talk and more action. When you are working out and breathless, there is no talking. In addition, strength training of the large muscle groups as in the legs, back and chest releases testosterone in both men and women, which increases libido for a couple. Additional benefits are that you will look better, turn back the clock on aging and cultivate a better self-image. Self-confidence is a sensual magnet. Exercise is your best treatment for low libido and even prevents it. Moreover, it is always better to prevent.

Whether male or female, when you exercise regularly and practice alternating days of aerobics, strength training and stretching, you will improve your cardiovascular system and energy levels. Men need to exercise for their cardiovascular health in order to experience a sustained erection. Studies show that men with erectile dysfunction could be at risk for cardiovascular disease like heart attack and stroke. Sex is a pretty good barometer of one’s overall health and vitality. A good doctor will ask you about your sex life to make his diagnosis and recommendations.

It’s a great idea to work out together—to have the object of your desire with you when you’re getting physical and your libido cranks up. For example, you can do partner driven squats, tandem lunges or abdominals by standing back to back and passing a basket ball or medicine ball to each other turning in a smooth twist from side to side. You could jog, swim, play tennis or bicycle together.

Fun – Feeling Uninhibited Naturally

Fitness is fun. Blood is pumping, hearts are beating, minds are clear, making you feel alive and alert—in short, poetry in motion. The time you set aside to exercise daily is the time you mind your muscle and get in touch with your inner self. When you release the hidden child within, there will be spontaneity and joy.

Sex is conceived in the brain and the mind is the most erotic organ, so use your head and don’t censor your imagination. Together your mind and body merge with another mind and body for the life force, mutual satisfaction and serene pleasure. Love is the ultimate mind and body experience. So, habituate yourself to regular sex, but don’t let sex become robotic or routine like an obligatory habit. Have romance with your healthy life!

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of "Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life," "Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout" and "Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul," a stress-reduction specialist, a radio show host and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com.